the Akerman Motel/Apartments per week
by Pablo D'Stair
I
paid one thousand two hundred twenty-seven dollars and fifty-five cents
See
my bulldog bite a rabbit and my hound dog’s sittin’ on a barbed-wire fence
-Bob Dylan
HUNDREDTH
DAY, HUNDRED-AND-SOMETHINGTH DAY in the apartment building of the Akerman
Motel/Apartments still couldn’t get over it must be a joke, if what I had was
an apartment then couldn’t imagine what’d it be like down in the motel area.
Closed
the storage locker I kept out of town, thing ran me as much a month as the
apartment, though I’d paid it all out in advance for six months first day I’d
moved in. Skimmed the forty dollars
pocket money off from the hundred forty I’d taken, rent due the morning and I
liked to pay out for two weeks, made me feel less antsy—should really’ve just
paid out on the room all in advance same as the storage, but there was no
discount for doing that and had a feeling it’d be trouble wrangling out a
refund things went I had to leave, some reason, all of a sudden. Had to or wanted to.
Hundred
days was fourteen times this’d be I’d put in rent, or anyway seven times but I
put in for two weeks each time, but this must’ve been the fifteenth time, fifty
dollars a week fifteenth time, meant it was hundred and fifth say,
hundred-and-somethingth day. Anyway,
seven hundred fifty for the apartment so far, twelve hundred for the storage,
I’d always dip in for at least another forty bucks each week on top of the
forty I designated for walking around, so that was another twelve hundred.
Rubbed
my face with the wrist of the hand holding my cigarette. Always did this same count every week because
I refused to actually verify how much I’d spent, how much I had left, like
keeping notes all in my head’d change anything—got excited times I’d mess up
the count, think I hadn’t spent as much as I’d thought, always come down from
that hard even though all the while I knew how underneath I was.
Spent
the rest of the day sipping from my flask, wandering the aisles of shops not
feeling like swiping anything, just looking, looking. Looking.
I’d
overheard someone say that none of the pawnshops around’d take anything from
the local merchants, wouldn’t take anything they knew was kept in stock around. Never yet got up the nerve about verifying
and anyway even in the worst case scenario my reserve could last me another
several months, no need to worry about getting drawn and quartered over six
bucks for a mini-television or anything.
Office
of the Akerman was its own little building really looked like a miniature
house, someone there all hours but’d only come to the window if you said
something they thought worthwhile into the intercom. ‘Rent,’ usually worked, said it with a sigh
and rubbing my lower back and having a look around. There always seemed to be somebody else at
the window, strangest thing in the three months I’d been there, no chance at a
rapport or anything and here it was again I was explaining all to someone new I
was paying for the two weeks, because if I didn’t say it, didn’t insist on it,
I knew they’d take the hundred, mark down I’d paid the one week only and what
kind of a position was I in to argue that with them?
There
was a cigarette machine at the base of the side entrance stairwell, something I
always gave a kick vaguely hoping a pack’d fall into the collection drawer,
never did. Started my ascent leisurely and at the landing to the third floor
stopped, leaned to the wall, took a particularly deep drag. Caught out the corner
of my eye a woman I knew lived down in the motel—knew her name was Kathryn, I
thought—peek her face to the widow panel the door, move away, second later door
opened.
She
caught her breath noticing me, laughed when I said Hello, sorry.
-It’s
fine, no, I’m sorry.
I
nodded as well, looked like she was going to maybe stand there long enough some
small talk, but then she didn’t, just ducked her head and down the stairs.
Finished
my cigarette, started another before I went the next four landings up, stubbed
it on the wall by my door I went in.
Poured a tall glass of vodka, dumped what was left of a fruit juice
bottle in on top of it, just a mouthful, turned on the television, giving it a
nod as I always did as though to remind myself it was worth the extra five
dollars rent per week to have the thing. Sat, looking at the screen with the
volume muted.
Stood
long enough to refill my glass after downing the first faster than was
necessary, back to my chair. Thoughts
drifted maybe I could try for some work, get something going—nothing official,
certainly I couldn’t chance that—maybe see if some of the other residents
worked odd jobs on the cheap, or maybe just place an advertisement I’d be up
for anything, moving boxes, cleaning, see if the ad ran a week and I got some
response.
Didn’t
remember turning off the television, but when I drifted awake, still in the
chair, the room was dark enough I noted licks of colour in slaps to the outside
of my drawn curtain. Used the toilet
before taking a look out, two police cars parked in front, little mash of
people around talking. As an ambulance
was pulling in to the lot I lost interest, padded around in the dark for my
cigarettes.
If
I weren’t so inebriated, so beat on top, the police presence’d have me more on
edge—but I was still pretty drunk and’d gotten used to the fact police’d come
around for this and that, they didn’t seem to bother with anyone in the Akerman
except just whoever might be involved in whatever specifically brought them
out, usually domestic quarrels, drug busts.
Chuckled,
drinking water from the tap, it’d probably be more trouble than it as worth for
police to talk to residents, must be an alarmingly high felon rate the Akerman
and pretty obvious anyone wasn’t a felon yet just hadn’t been nabbed up, would
get the distinction soon enough.
Took
a last mouth of water, swished it, spit it, went back to my chair.
Came
awake again to the heat of the day in through the blinds, scent of cooking dust
and whatever food was maggoting its way through the walls. Had a quick shower, put the same clothes as
the previous day back on, made sure I had my forty dollars, put twenty in the
kitchen drawer, hesitated, took it out and left, locking up, scoffing as I always
did the flimsiness of the door, that if I leaned on it too long lock’d probably
pop free.
Right
away down the stairwell knew something was still going on with the police,
voices echoing, swirling up the well, general sounds of feet scuffing and vague
taps of door knocking.
Just
passing the fourth floor landing, heard someone call Excuse me, turned it was
some guy cheap suit.
-Yeah?
-What’s
your name?
-Stared
at him a minute, on principle. Why,
what’s going on?
-What’s
your name, you live here?
-My
name is Terrance Wales, yes I live here, on seven, seven H.
-You
going out all day?
-Held
another stare. What happened here?
-Were
you around last night?
-Sure.
-You’re
on seven?
-Yes.
-You
were in all night?
-Yes.
-Seven
H?
-Yes.
That
seemed to be all he wanted, just turned away like it obviously wasn’t worth it
having a word with me.
It
was the third floor where the main concentration of activity was going on, took
a peek to see how far down the corridor, maybe in apartment three D or E. Out the door, now there were four police
cars, two other cars probably belonging to detectives, mild crowd of people
milling around, some talking to police, police taking notes, uniformed officers
knocking on doors the motel area.
Lit
a new cigarette as I cut through, trying not to feel like everyone was giving
me a hard glance.
***
Nothing
so much in the paper about odd jobs, or there was but I’m sure I’d be passed
over—even construction, putting up walls, people around here’d done things like
for ages, even knocking down walls, I’d show up, get a look up and down, only
in a last ditch situation’d someone give me nod. Looked at the Models Wanted ads a little more
intently than usual, knew just what it meant but tried to entertain the idea
maybe not, maybe it just was someone wanted a subject to paint, to
photograph.
I’d
been avoiding the fast food place, local thing called Howya Likeya Burga? where I’d left my number with the owner about
cleaning the place up at night, dirt cheap, figured no call meant he’d found
someone else or decided it didn’t matter or decided I was up to something. I
loitered around in the parking lot of the liquor store across the street,
waiting to see about did the owner’s car show up. Probably chose the wrong spot to wait around,
after hour-and-a-half the pull of a cheap bottle of vodka bled me off six
dollars and I was dull minded, slightly sick to my stomach.
Spent
the rest of the day up till evening doing about nothing except I managed to
misstep up a curb and turn my ankle around the wrong way, found myself limping
worse as I got near the lot of the Akerman, enough I didn’t bother with the
stairs, leaned to wall, cigarette fresh to lip I didn’t even feel like.
Right
away, few half drags into the smoke, knew the guy crossing the lot from out his
parked car was aiming for me, but preoccupied all by my hurt paw didn’t occur
to me this was still about there being cops around until he smiled and called
me Seven H, little click to it, half a question but same time he seemed pretty
certain.
-Didn’t
realize we’d got to first name basis, I said, actually chuckled, no mood for
this but still always proud to be funny, got me down again when he chuckled
just as much, though.
-How
are things in Seven H?
Small
talk sort of scene, terrific, rolled my head around could we cut past it he
didn’t mind but, no, he wanted to keep it up.
-You
really pay rent by the week?
-Me
personally? What do I look like? Pay by the fortnight, I said, thick long
pronunciation to the ‘fortnight’ but I don’t think he got the thing I was
basically flipping him off.
-Been
here long or what?
But
I just bet he knew all about this and so skipped to telling him how I took it
there’d been ugly bit of bother night before, something that I couldn’t have
less to do with, on top couldn’t care either.
-What
time were you in?
-Might
not believe it, don’t own a watch. Late. Past midnight. No idea.
His
eye went up a tick down a tock at something in what I’d said, same time I
turned and there was a peek of someone’s head at their motel room curtain.
Kathryn. Curtain didn’t close, not until I’d looked until it did, felt my gut
go tight from all I’d eaten all day was cigarettes, kind of cramp like a rib
aching back around my lung.
-What’ve
you got going on around, just out of curiosity?
Told
him Looking for work, but told him still while looking the motel window—didn’t
know what I wanted, the curtain to peek again, the door to open. Made myself
look up the sky, same time not looking down I dropped the stub of my
cigarette’n gave a random step of my toe I could feel didn’t find it.
-I
bet if you could loan me one of your cigarettes, there—pointed to the fat pack
of his front pocket—I could tell you all about my hopes for public office, all
of it. What’re you interested in knowing?
Another
swell grin off the guy, he handed one right over, lit his own, took a stance
like all of a sudden he was more playwright-doing-research than murder police
or whatever it was he was. Just asked why I’d stayed on so long, he couldn’t
tell what people had going on with the Akerman, no other guest had stayed more
than two weeks except a couple dozen who’d been there more’n ten years. Funny, this actually made me feel awkward,
like it was something peculiar about me, identifying I’d never’ve thought to
think about.
-That
so? I mean, yeah I’m here awhile, but I couldn’t dream of ten years on.
-Didn’t
used to be motel apartment place, just apartments, but things took a bad turn
this part of town. I once dated a girl lived here, back then.
-She
one of the lifers?
Whatever
reason, he took ill to that, the whole time I wasn’t even being mean with it,
kind of just wondered.
Door
opened at Kathryn—no, her name was Kaitlin—at Katilin’s motel, she just stepped
out, lingered around the ashtray between her door and the next over, stole two
glances at me I avoided except passing eyes over her, blurry eyes.
I
asked the cop did he need anything else, that I wasn’t going anywhere, if that
was his clever trick to figure out with being my buddy and all.
-You
should get a watch, he said, looked at me like he wanted a retort, but just
gave him a bob up down of his cigarette my lip, almost winked but managed to
not.
Stared
at him walking until I could manage to look away, giving a hiss that Kaitlin
was still over there, loitering like I’d agreed to something.
I
got up to my floor, lame pathetic lean to the railing whole while, looked down
my corridor remembered I’d meant to take a look down the corridor of
three.
Must’ve
been murder police, obviously the thing if he’s gonna make sure he sticks
around his car out in the lot until everyone is nice and accounted for, at
least in some rudimentary way.
Sure,
there he was still, at least his car parked, exhaust out the back, probably for
his heater, the night turning chill as rock as soon as the sun got lost in the
city skyline other end of the canal.
But,
Kaitlin, she wasn’t hanging out anymore. Put the spook in me for the next hour,
two hours, that any second there would be her knock to my door and it’d be
something I’d have to deal with no matter how much it was something couldn’t
matter to me less.
Soon
though—soon a bit to drink, soon the kind of tired I let it feel more tired
than it was because why bother not making the most of it—I was more thinking it
made sense what the cop’d said, how these used to be apartments, actually. It’d
always seemed to me the motel rooms, they seemed like the whole row’d used to
be a carwash, an autobody shop, something, probably they were converted,
whatever they’d been, when things’d headed south and the apartments went from
proper rent to cavities not worth the fifty a week the dinge who’d rent them
were made to cough out.
***
Woke up
tired from the night not being good for anything. Stood in the shower, but it
was pointless, I could feel the granules in the stream I’d always known were
there but just never thought about, scabs either just from the inside rusting
up of the pipes or else, all I knew, from the dirty pond the pipes were sucking
out.
It
was on me more’n I’d’ve been thinking it was, these police—as much as plenty of
them’d been in and out of the Akerman the time I’d been there, this was
something else. Noon two days since the
thing and here I looked out and there were still some there, cop car even, that
and the plain car I thought was that cop I’d had that delightful exchange with,
guy was maybe camping out for the duration.
It
just wasn’t I could see who’d been got dead in the Akerman this sort of peek’d
be made into what’d gone on. Had my
little theory, obviously this’d been some guy done in not from the Akerman,
this theory on account of one, if it’d been a guest, they’d’ve caught the other
guest most likely behind it as quick as they did anything else, any other crime
they’d been around for last four months, and two, on account of the Akerman
seemed a sure thing people’d wound up dead here, time to time, but something
about this one seemed a real surprise to all involved.
Figuring
to have some smokes out in the fresh air, by now must’ve been plenty to read
about it in the paper—wanted something, something to get myself feeling it’d be
all done, that the cops weren’t going to be pressed to start turning over every
rock, poking their sticks everywhere just on principle, glad to step down on
whatever else scurried loose, related or not.
Muggy
but cold, worthless kind of afternoon, got the train out to some shops more
proper in the city. Knew it wasn’t
because of some fairy tale about the pawnshops I was so reluctant to make a
swipe anyplace, it was all just because when was the last time, really, I’d
nabbed anything? It’s the sort of thing a touch gets lost, I’d no bearings any
more how things were protected, would likely get strung up I tried to sneak a
single stick of gum out a pack, put it back the shelf. Anyway, paper I’d snuck from a table the fast
food restaurant some guy’d got up for the toilet had nothing on the Akerman,
whole thing a great big secret.
Political scandal. Hollywood star
found out on the skid.
Chuckled
at myself. Was I trying to boy detective this out, cash in on the reward, key
to the city?
So
much I wasn’t paying attention to anything, it was only while I was rounding
one aisle to another an all-purpose store—thinking maybe a suitcoat or two
could get me a few bucks at a secondhand shop, places never really asked many
questions—that I took notice there was Kaitlin, hanging back. Knowing it wasn’t any kind of mistake her
being there, headed right out through the door, nodding deep to the security
man leaning against a row of shopping carts, lit myself up cigarette and
wandered around over by the drink machines to wait out her catching me up.
She
didn’t register surprise to hear me say her name behind her as she stepped by,
squint like she was trying to figure out had she seen wrong which way’d I
gone—no surprise of any kind, even so much to the degree she smiled and corrected
me her name was Corrina. I remembered
that, soon as she said it—we’d spoken what’d it been, the once? I’d been
figuring out about the laundry in the basement didn’t work, she’d directed me
to the Laundromat I’d’ve found myself, no trouble, it being half block down, I
saw it every day.
-What
brings you out this way, Cor?
But
no, she had something set to her eyes, wetted her lips I could see suck the
moisture in dry just quick, wetted them again and moved in close, finger wiggle
could she bum a smoke. I lit her one off mine, mine almost out so then lit
myself a new one from my old.
-I
can’t pay you, she said, out breath of her first drag.
Nodded,
held in smoke, almost thought I actually might want to know what specifically
did she mean, but instead, still not having exhaled, told her Don’t worry, she
didn’t owe me for a thing.
-Her
eyes went hard, perfect look an angry woman can get and same time knows it’s an
occasion keep her mouth shut. You’ll
have to do whatever you want, turn me in, or we can arrange something else,
maybe. I don’t know what you want, but I don’t have money.
-Scratched
my cheek all through her saying that, one eye squinted and gave my head a
shake. Didn’t tell the police I’d seen
you that night. That it? That’s just because they’re the police, okay? You
don’t owe me on that.
But
it caught up to me she wasn’t thinking about I was going to come at her about
wanting something, it was that someone else already had done and she thought
it’d been me. Blew smoke down my nose and she got a look like she could tell
we’d gotten to the same page, though still distrust in her, like I was playing
pretend.
-How
much money is it I want? I asked, tone like really I was trying to remember,
maybe because I was sort of trying to guess how she’d answer, same time.
-Uncertainty,
freckle hid by her eyelashes visible even in the shadow from her brow. I saw you talking to that detective and then
he didn’t come talking to me.
-I
told you that already, he’s not my good friend just because he had to ask me
about things it’s his job to go figure out on his own. I’m not your trouble if you’ve got trouble
and I’m saying that and now I’m leaving. But I didn’t move, felt my face tight
a smile, one side, gave my nose a rub of thumb knuckle. How much do I want? I
asked again, a bit more kitten purr.
This
time, make believing herself confident but touch to ear showed otherwise and
the way she did her shoulders was all wrong, she told me Twenty-five hundred
dollars.
-Corinna,
I said, flick of cigarette right in the collection slot the soda machine,
Corinna, it’d been me asking and you’ve done what you’ve done, I’d be thinking
brown penny more’n that, I can assure you.
Again
those hard eyes, but not angry, hard like she didn’t want me to see she’d cry
later remembering this exact moment, my blank face, taste of cigarette off me
haunting her, indeible ink.
-You
don’t know what he did to me, she said, mix of choke and stage whisper.
-Can’t
imagine I’d wanna envision it, one way or another, you not quite being my
flavor, Cor. But either way, I’m explaining to you I don’t care. Someone wants
loose change from you over you asserted yourself to some fella, my advice is
I’d pay them.
-I
told you I don’t have anything to give you.
Nodded,
nodded, faked a big smile, breathy laugh, and did her an aw shucks, we have
nothing further to talk about shrug and said Hey, maybe we’ll have a drink,
laugh about this mix up the whole thing blows over.
Maybe
not so right to put a poke to her that way, but turned and left her to ponder
it all a bit. Walked fast even though I
knew she wasn’t following and, a little silly, felt tense and like I didn’t
want to look behind me she might be firing off a pistol on account she thought
it was time for a last resort.
Trevor English is a series of five crime/noir novella that serve both as stand-alone titles and part of a larger five part arc. All five novella are released as FREE EBOOKS (and limited edition mass market paperback editions) and can be found HERE. In addition to this series,Pablo D'Stair is a writer of novels, shorts stories, essays, and dialogues. He is co-Founder of KUBOA (an art house press) through which his collection they say the owl was a baker's daughter: four existential noirs is available.