Wednesday, November 5, 2014

All Due Respect Books to publish collection of Alec Cizak stories!!!!!!

Oh. Wow. Right? 

Mr. Cizak has gathered up all his wonderful stories and is letting All Due Respect Books assemble them into a book with a cover and everything. He wants them to call it Crooked Roads, and they said okay. 

"Oh shit, I had no idea," said ADR Books' employee Mike Monson while in the midst of reading the submitted manuscript. "These stories are fucking great. I'm actually jealous, which I'm usually not when I read stories I admire because I realize everyone is different. But, these stories, man, I wished I'd written them. Damn." 

"Duh," replied the Publisher Chris Rhatigan. "Alec is the man, I thought everyone knew that. Where have you been, dude?"

"Good question, jeez," Mike said. "You know that I read and loved his novel Manifesto Destination and you know I loved his story Little People in All Due Respect #4, but I had no idea he had all these other kick-ass stories out." 

"Fuck, Monson," Rhatigan said, "would you get with the program? What am I paying you for?" 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, Boss," Monson said, and slunk off to read back issues of Alec Cizak's crime fiction journal Pulp Modern and finally get to reading The Man's novella The National Trust in the collection Uncle B's Drive-In Fiction.

"Hey, Mr. Rhatigan!" Monson shouted from his cubicle, "listen to what it says here about Alec Cizak in the back of that Drive-In Fiction book: Alec is from Indianapolis. I would've thought he was from Los Angeles because so many of his stories sure capture that city so well. Don't you think? And, check this out. His work has appeared in Beat To A Pulp, Grift Magazine, Thuglit, Crimespree and a bunch of neat anthologies! That is so cool."

Mike waited patiently, but there was no reply from Rhatigan. Finally he got up from his chair, left his cube, and walked down the long hallway to the big office. The door was closed, which meant one thing: the Boss was busy writing, cause that dude was always fucking writing. 

"I better get busy if we want Crooked Roads out by Spring of 2015, like I promised Mr Cizak," Mike said to himself on the long walk back his desk, where his Acer laptop sat waiting, mocking him with its malevolent incompetence.